we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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