Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
