ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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