I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
