if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.