I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'