well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho