Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
