Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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