yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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