Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
