Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
