Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
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My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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