I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
