I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
