Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
