Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
that is very illegal...i love you.
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