i think i have two assholes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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