omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
