you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
