The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
