i permit you to call me
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
