I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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