My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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