What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
