I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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