My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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