...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
