you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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