I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
