Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
