i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
