I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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