Sponge bath it is.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
