Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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