My room smells like vodka and shame
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So apparently I’m into choking now
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
