pedialite and red bull = repair kit
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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