Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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