He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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