Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
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