Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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