I need help removing her.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
