dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
