I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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