Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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