she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
