it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
