She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
