Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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