she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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