I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize