it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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