I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
