I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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