shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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