I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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