mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
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