In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
