We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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