We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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