Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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