YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
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My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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